Although I have to say it’s always a work in progress, I can say that I’ve found many ways to improve my relationships. I’ll start with…gosh, where do I start?
Write down what you’re thankful for, no matter how small, every day.
Tell those you’re with what you appreciate about them often.
Ask for (or pray for, if you do that) what you want out of each day (I am a big fan of writing everything down) from God, the universe, yourself, etc. This is the law of attraction…attract what you want, make it principle-driven. For example, I have 2 kids, so I might ask for patience, understanding, wisdom, calm, and lots of money! Just kidding…or not 🙂
Google affirmations for (fill in the blank for your issue), print them out, cut them up, & put them in a jar or bowl. Read a few each day. For example, maybe you’d look up “affirmations for creating a loving relationship”. Or make up your own:
“My husband loves me deeply”, “my relationship has many moments of harmony every day”, “I recognize the things that I can change”, “I decide to make small, positive changes today” , “I show gratitude often today”, you get the idea. Yes, you’ll feel like Stuart Smalley on SNL, but they really help!
Create a special place to hang happy pictures of you & person with whom you want to improve relations.
Consider going to therapy if it’s bad! Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you. Even if the other person doesn’t go with you, at least you’ll work through stuff you need to and might get help learning how to deal. Just make sure the advice you’re given doesn’t hurt other people…I’ve seen that happen. Try to find someone who is healing, nurturing, etc.
Paraphrase: when someone blurts out something hurtful, instead of reacting, simply stay calm and ask, “so what you’re saying is….(insert your understanding of comment here)?”
Example: “That idea is stupid!”
You say, “so what you’re saying is that you think my idea is not very smart? ”
This kind of dissipates the intensity and gets dialogue moving in a more mature direction.
Actually, now I realize that I’m delving into the conflict resolution course, so I’ll save that kind of stuff for later.
Read the Venus and Mars books on female/male relations. I read the one about how we handle stress differently. It has some very interesting insights, helpful nuggets, and compelling points. Bottom line, men need cave time & to feel gratitude, women need to be listened to & not fixed.
Installment 1 of many , over for now…good luck!